Tuesday, 26 May 2009

For Fathers and Mothers too

I have always been subscribed to Saifulislam.com. One thing that I like most about the ustaz is how he incorporates things that can be viewed as very secular such as watching movies, books, current political and historical events from an Islamic perspective. Here's an excerpts of one of his entry entitled Tidurlah Sayang.

Semasa bermastautin di negara Barat, ada banyak perkara yang saya perhati dan kemudiannya menjadi pelajaran buat diri. Saya selalu berasa teruja apabila berinteraksi dengan anak-anak Irisih yang datang berkunjung ke masjid. Ramai dari kalangan mereka mempunyai budi bahasa yang baik dan tertib semasa masuk ke masjid. Hingga terdetik di hati saya, bagaimanakah cara ibu bapa mereka mendidik anak-anak ini?

Saya yakin, tidak ada cacat dan kurangnya pada Islam. Tetapi mengapa sebagai Muslim, ada kalanya budi bahasa dan ketertiban diri anak-anak itu sukar untuk dicari?

Tanpa Islam, bagaimana mereka mendidik anak-anak dengan nilai yang murni?

Ada sesuatu di sana.

Also from the entry, he quoted a poem by Diane Loomans.

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
By Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d finger-paint more, and point the fingers less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I’d teach less about the love of power, And more about the power of love.

Definitely a food for thought for me.


Anonymous said...

Usually i'd read from the reader, the sporadic updates but today, curi2 nak comment, good idea to share the entry. i like the poem, i love his points and it's worth pondering why we all couldn't be as such :)

all as in muslim parents, sometimes we make islam so rigid when it isn't!


Mrs.A said...

I read that one. Sometimes I know, I should be playing more with the kids but there's so much to do around the house. .. So at times, I let it go and just chill with them! And sometimes, I forget that my son is not even 12 and I should just lighten up with him. But the education system has made sure that there's just so much to do,kalau mummy ni tak push and push, he might just get left behind.. so how? lower my expectations? tak boleh jugak. How aaa moshie mosh, how now?

Anonymous said...

To get the right balance tu yang agak sukar. Sometimes semput and rasa frust sgt but I keep telling myself to do my best.


Hafiz said...

I'm also a subscriber of Saiful Islam. His writing can bring different perspective on how we see things in this life.

the principal said...

The children at my school feel so comfortable talking to me. Selalu I dgr happy moments they spend with their parents. Last year, a 6 year old girl approached me & said, "teacher emy, saya tak suka duduk rumah". I was told, "ayah saya selalu pukul mak saya.....". It broke my heart to hear this...

Anonymous said...

Yeah i learned a lot from Saifulislam too.

mosh said...

a-nonah-nimus: hey, good to see you here.

my take on the opinion is that, we all can't be like that because we are human. that includes the author as well. but what we should strive is to be close to it and do as much as possible, kan?

mrs a: i couldn't agree more. easier said than done but professional chores (live-in maid or otherwise) would definitely relieve some quality time for your children, I believe.

but you're right la. we're all in that predicament of balancing between pushing too much or too little. I suppose it always falls back to case-by-case basis la kan. We can't get everything right so all we could do is try our best.

bf: I suppose mere mortals like us can only do that la kan. there's so much we want to do but cannot so just do our best.

hafiz: he does, doesn't he?

ms principal: so what did you say to the child eh? susah jugak tu.

rotis: continuous learning for all of us :)

Mrs.A said...

Just being a kepochi.. when I was faced with situations as mdm principal's, if I could adrress it with the child, I do (e.g. we were writing about family and this child who lost the father said "I don't have this one" pointing the blank under the dad's name. Boy, was it hard containing my tears... They usually just need to express themselves, darling kiddos. ) If I am close enough to the parents, I go to them (e.g, " My mummy is so busy , she doesn't really have time for me". But the mummy is truly a busy person, I just made her dump the driver and at least send the child to school. That was enough for him).

I liked Saiful Islam's answer to the girl when she asked how come we cannot see Allah. Faced that situation when my friends' son asked whether malaikat has wings. (payah jugak asyik tengok cerita omputeh ni!).

the principal said...

I told the child that no matter what happen between her parents, they love her very much. Just tell her that whenever her parents fight, just go to her room & do her own things. I kept reminding her that its okay for her to talk to me and she did....

I was so touched when she came back to my school on her first day at primary school just to "tunjuk teacher emy dia pakai baju sekolah baru & dia rindu teacher emy". I just knew I had done the right thing...

Lollies said...

firm and soft. be the boss and a friend. be the supervisor and playmate.

but always a;ways always we are the parents. Hah! apa lagi pergilah basuh pinggan dalam sink tu cepat.