Tuesday, 22 May 2007

i am only a mortal

the other one told me that i am guilty of two mortal sins. the first one, the usual complaint that has gone all the way from the day that i dated her 8 years ago. flirtatious. TOO flirtatious. the second one, is a more recent phenomenon that comes with the benefit of blogging; not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth by painting a picture-perfect image of a spotless son, husband and father. so what do i do about it? write an entry, naturally. with the hope of tipping the balance of the second sin.

i am guilty as charged, your honourable one.

i had a solid foundation to start my life. while i have an elder brother, the idea of an 11 year old boy befriending a 4 year-old would have been an alien concept even to me. so, the closest affiliates that i had at home would be the elder sisters that i have whom are 3, 4 and 5 years older than i am. of course i have a younger brother whom i would normally used as my experiment and sparring partner which would occasionally send him to the clinic for a proper patching-up process.

so, i learn the traits of communicating with 3 females with 3 distinct personalities and perceptions; the eldest one being the chatterbox punctuated with hearty laughs, the introverted second one whom would hide behind doors when the others were being punished for faults that could not be remotely attributed to her and the third one whom hated me for stealing the youngest child title that she had proudly held for 3 years before i came about.

however, my 5-year all boys boarding secondary school stint helped nothing in that department except for fuelling those raging and suppressed teenager boys hormone. excluding that little event which made me wonder how could a 24 year old woman be attracted to a nerdy, bespectacled and clueless 17 year old boy.

in the 10-weeks orientation program and english course (which i badly needed due to the me-speak-english-no condition of my language) after my spm result came out, i was again exposed to the myriad world of double exxes chromosomes. i was a slow starter, keeping mum and having no clue on how to communicate to the heavenly creatures. alas, owing to the solid foundation that i had that i was exposed to in my early childhood, i took in everything in leaps and bounds. at the end of the 10 weeks, i could entertain most if not all the whims and fancies of the girls (cleanly!) while keeping my ego and pride intact.

while it was all fine and dandy when i was not attached, my second nature started brewing troubles when i had a person whom called me her boyfriend. she was however, quite lucky in that sense because i was mostly interested in pursuing the perfect score and tactics in my computer games rather than a similar scoreline towards opposite sex. the greatest evil deed that i had done during that stint was writing another girl's phone number on her back in a party that she was invited to. but you could ignore that one because it was not as bad as how i made it sound like.

i would flirt with almost every other female that i come in contact with in any shapes or sizes, barring my essgeeemm (god forbid!), intentionally or unintentionally. my remarks, quips and smiles could be easily contrived as flirting even to non-observant eyes. even the males around me notice the change of tone and intonation of my speech and could easily tell if the gender of the person at the other end of the line if i were to answer that call.

but i just cannot imagine how difficult it is being my spouse. i could only guess that even the most understanding wife in the world would have trouble justifying to herself all of my actions, after pestering me for explanations that i could offer.

if somehow, you have this false impression that i could make fabio cringe out of jealousy due to my good looks, i am telling you that that is a purely an imagination of yours. you can ask theotheraj, lollies and gartblue and they will gladly concur with me on that. and if you're still not satisfied with those seasoned opinions, send a pm to olab, rotinina or dory, for brand new perspectives and reassurances.

oh! by the way, despite all the flirtations, lollies, gartblue and missklsentral had always drilled down the impression that i am "harmless" and i gladly embraced it.

so, have i tipped the balance?

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