Wednesday, 20 December 2006

fairytale with a happy ending






let me introduce the four main actresses/ actors of this blog, amelya my three-year-old daughter, alyssa my almost-five-year-old daughter, the iron grill in my house (in which i have included a one-foot ruler for size reference) and the floor lamp in the background and my key box. what do two little girls and two (three?) inanimate objects have in common? interested? read on if you are.

it happened about one week before i became a blogger. during that time, gartblue had been pestering me to “quote” take up the challenge to be a blogger “unquote” and this story would be a good start to my blog but i didn’t take up the challenge then so here it is now.

the fairytale begins at the end of a working day at my office. we were supposed to pick up alyssa from sister-in-law’s house in loyalwangsa. but both of us were driving so i decided to ask wifey to leave the car at the office in bungsar to be parked overnight. suffice to say we were on our way home which was about half hour drive from loyalwangsa at around 10 pm. adding more spice to the story, i had the urge to pee while we were saying goodbye and thought i can hold it for another half hour or so. furthermore, i was too tired and was already falling asleep while driving back home so i did not want to prolong our stay at the in-law’s house.

after a half hour jam-free, cat-naps-ridden drive home, we were in front of our front gate when i nudged the half-asleep wifey to open up the padlocked gate (no machoism here, our rule is simple, the passenger always opens the gates). then, like a lightning bolt which entirely wiped out my sleepiness, it struck me that the car that i was driving did not have the house keys! normally, we would keep both sets of keys in both cars but in the morning, i was running late and in the hectic morning rush, i did not bring my set of keys. so, the only sets of keys that is outside the house is in the other car which is sleeping in bungsar. *sigh* ^%&*#@$!

so, the next logical course of action was to drive back and forth to my office will take at least 50 minutes to pick up the keys. but, jigging all the way upon desperately holding my pee, i had to do all the lateral thinking (can’t rely on her in her half-asleep mode). and i came up with plan b. alyssa and i climbed over the gate (she does that all the time, by the way) and got ourselves in front of the sliding door. fortunately, the glass sliding door was not locked and the only thing that stands between me and my toilet is the iron grill. the plan b was to ask alyssa to slip through the iron grill (she does this all the time too) and pick up the keys from the keybox which is quite far from the main entrance (under the stairs, definitely cannot be reached from outside except maybe by dr. octopus). sounds easy? read on.

there i was, in front of my own locked house, literally begging alyssa to go into the pitch dark house to get the keys, while holding my pee. which turned out to be a bad decision given that alyssa is the very penakut type whom would need her little sister to accompany her to go upstairs in broad daylight when everybody is downstairs. i can’t be shouting to my children in front of my own house in this very quiet neighbourhood at 11.00pm, can’t i? somebody would call the security guards or worse the police in no time.

after the longest-fifteen-minutes-of-my-life later, i gave up asking alyssa to enter the house. i was almost ready to pee to in my front lawn when critically, a plan c suddenly spring to mind. i then hoisted amelya over the front gate, slipped her through the iron grill ask her to turn on the lights (one of her favourite activity whenever we reached home after maghrib) so that alyssa will then be able to go into the house to pick up the keys. thankfully, amelya happily obliged. *phew* if you’re guessing that’s the happy ending of the very long blog you could never be more wrong.

on her way to turning on the lights in the very dark house, she bumped into the coffee table and you could guess from the huge thud that it was eerily painful. so the natural thing for her to do was cry, out loud. by now, you have a complete picture of one very happy family. the youngest daughter inside the pitch black house all by herself wailing, the elder sister outside the house scared as a stricken mouse, the father traipsing all the way with only one thing in mind and the mother at the front gate nagging on something about not giving clear instruction (that really didn’t help, ok?).

thankfully, i managed to remotely comfort amelya after several minutes and she reluctantly turned on the lights while she’s still sobbing. even then, it took alyssa more than five minutes to gain enough courage to enter the house and picked up the keys. with the keys in hand, there is only one thing that was given the highest priority and that had to be the
best pee that i've had for a very long time. life then returned back to normalcy and everybody lived happily ever after.

if you’re still reading this, there must be something else you’re expecting. therefore, i end this very long fairytale with
a moral of the story. the moral of the story is don’t hold your pee especially
when you’re locked out of your own house or be prepared for a very long night.

No comments: